. >> every thanks giving the president chooses one turkey to pardon. >> well, tonight president obama is letting you influence the decision by voting on line. >> uncle sam needs you to vote. so do these turkeys, caramel and popcorn, the finalist for national thanksgiving turkeys. only one bird can hold the title. you can vote online. stay tuned to see who wins. >> stephen: oh, i understand why healthcare.gov is screwed: obama needed his a-team to work on turkeycare . gobble. (laughter) here's how it works. you see, the presidential turkey pardon this year was decided by an online vote. it's like "hot or not" where hot is defined as 375 degrees for three hours. (laughter) what a waste of america's time, ladies and gentlemen! because any fool can see that popcorn is the better turkey! i mean, just look at the actual stats they provide right on the web site. popcorn is a lean and sexy 37 pounds while caramel is a lumbering tubbo at 38 pounds. hey, fatso, did you already eat the chicken and the duck? why would anybody vote for caramel who listens to lady gaga when popcorn jams out to beyo